Warning: I did not really like this movie very much, especially judging it against its predecessors. You have been warned.
- Stupidest opening 90 seconds I’ve ever seen
- Ok, we get the cute gag where the (terribly rendered) jaws look like an alien… but oh, it’s just a bug. And the guy who looks at the bug goo on his finger after crushing it does a bad job of acting even in the tiny scene he’s given 🙄
- 1997 CGI looks way worse than 1979 models
- 2 marine guards chewing gum simultaneously is funny
- The fact that the evil stupid organization experimenting with xenomorphs is the “United Systems Military” instead of Weyland-Yutani is kind of disappointing. What happened to the company?
- Brad Dourif is perfect
- W-Y bought out by Walmart, supposedly, meh. They could have just kept the company, and made this the Bio-Weapons Division’s triumphant moment after all these years, instead of replacing all that backstory with generic evil military doctors
- The Betty docking with the Auriga is pretty cool looking actually
- The computer is called Father, haha
- I don’t see why the military guy doesn’t take the bodies, give the mercs their cash, and then tell them to fuck off at gunpoint, other than they need a plot reason to keep them around
- Writing tip: when the answer to “why don’t they just X instead?” is “because the plot needs them to Y”, you’re doing a bad writing job
- This movie does give Sigourney a chance to play a weirder version of Ripley, which I like
- Winona’s character is annoying
- The scene where Ripley finds the failed clones is nice and horrifying, but also very static; everyone stands still at the door while she explores, until Call helpfully appears with a flamethrower. Then she stalks towards the evil doctor guy and Call is all, “Don’t do it, Ripley,” but then Ripley throws the flamethrower down and is like, “Do what?” and walks away, and then Call punches the doctor guy in the face. And it’s like, given everything that’s happened in this movie is basically that guy’s fault, I would not have blamed Ripley for just lighting him up. So what was the point of that scene? To show she’s still human, and merciful? Shrug. I guess it’s because this is a comedy-action movie with horror elements and not a horror-action movie
- Oh never mind, the actual end of that scene is Ron Perlman questioning Ripley’s reaction, saying, “must be a chick thing”; give me a break, Joss, I’m surprised he didn’t say she was “hysterical” 🙄
- The movie is failing to make me care about Call slowly gaining sympathy for Ripley
- When they find the survivor the mercs should have just shot him instead of arguing, and Ripley should definitely have just snapped his neck instead of telling him the whole terrible story, like why would you do that?
- The exchange between DiStephano and the merc about his cool gun is badly written and unconvincingly acted
- How do they hold their breath for so long?
- The climbing scene is again very static, some of them just have to stand around while others participate in the action
- There are too many characters in this movie
- I’m glad the synthetics still have milk for blood
- That’s right, the soldier remembers: its exposition time! Thank you for telling us what the deal with Winona’s character is so she doesn’t have to
- Call’s interface with the ship is pretty cool, how her voice echoes thorough presumably the ship speakers
- Aw, the alien just wants to cuddle Ripley
- Brad Dourif gets his weird little moment of exposition while cocooned
- Alien childbirth is gross
- Alien baby helped close the cargo bay door, it just wants to help!
- That giant monster can be mighty stealthy when it wants to be
- Poor DiStephano, he was always a redshirt
- Look at Ripley comfort the poor little thing that should not be
- Despite the fake-looking CGI coming out the other end, the way it gets sucked out the window is gross
- “Earth, what a shithole”, indeed
- Hey it’s the ruined Eiffel Tower
- That movie was fun but stupid
